Panic setting in
Traffic hell surrounding me
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to turn
No safe place
Drive to survive
Racing to calm down
no medication,no relief
breathing speads up
anger flows
screaming into the void
my mind out of control
Tears stream down my face
I’m not even sad
But I am
Angry, sad, scared and frustrated
All at once, all conflicting
my mind can’t cope
My body is confused
No one is around
No one cares
Just sitting in my metal coffin
racing toward nothing
trying to get home
trying to survive
slow drivers, fast drivers
confused drivers all around
No one knows where they are going
Except in your way
There is no relief
No reprieve
Just panic
Fear
terror
tears
Finally home
and the breakdown isn’t done
sobbing out of control
reaching for medication
my head is spinning
my body still confused
everything hurts
all is exhausted
Waiting for the medication to take effect
Closing my eyes, focusing on breathing
I’m safe now, but my brain isn’t convinced
trying to breathe trying to rest
It’s so easy to reach this point
so hard to come down
Am I losing my mind?
Am I crazy?
I’d been fine for so long
I thought I was better
The panic was only buried
The panic is a beast that never goes away
Only sleeps
anger feeds it, frustration makes it grow
Traffic is its friend
It laughs when it surfaces
Mocking my tears
There is no beating it
it cannot be defeated
it lives within me, deep down inside
Best I can do is put it to sleep
to numb it
Make it too tired to care
Until the next time
When it can surface again
I can finally sleep and rest my brain
slipping into sweet darkness
my body finally calming down
by brain finally at peace
The panic has gone back to hibernation
But it will always be there
waiting to strike again
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