Recently one of my cats got outside. He’s an indoor cat, and he’s all black. He got out through the opening from a window air conditioner unit. For a few days we were really worried. He hasn’t been outside since we got him, but we’ve been holding on to hope.
I’ve been putting food out for him and last night I saw him coming out to eat on the doorbell camera at 3am. When I went out myself, he was already hiding again. In my reading, cats who get out tend to be scared and they hide nearby the house. So it made me feel better knowing he’s safe and close by. We just have to find a way to get him back in the house.
I’ve done a lot of reading and we may end up using a humane trap to get him back inside. I have to say, we were worried sick for a few days and really depressed. Talk about feeling like a failure as a cat parent, but I think he saw the opening and got curious and jumped out not realizing where he was.
Why am I blogging this? I don’t even know. This blog has become somewhat like a personal diary of me just vomiting out whatever is on my mind, instead of planned out articles.
It’s raining pretty heavy in San Antonio today, so I’m not sure we’ll have a cat sighting today. But we’ll see how things go. In other news, I’ve been watching season three of Nobody Wants This with my wife. It’s about a Jewish Rabbi and his non-Jewish girlfriend navigating their lives together. I won’t give away spoilers, but it makes me think a lot of my own spiritual journey.
I grew up Baptist, but in my 20’s and early 30’s I was more pentacostal. After a crisis of faith and some awful life events, I became an atheist which I maintained for about 10 years or so. I have to say I was pretty angry during this time. It took very little for me to lash out at anyone I thought was preaching to me, or anyone who was Christian in general.
I’ve blogged a bit before about my Baptist upbringing, it wasn’t pretty. A lot of psychologicial and emotional abuse and its taken a long time to unravel, hence the angry atheist phase. I will say that time thoughts of dying were both depressing and scary. Somewhere in the midst of all that, I joined the Satanic Temple and became an atheistic Satanist. They were more activists than anything, and there was constant drama.
I ended up leaving when they made more rules mandating attending their monthly meetings. Like, this isn’t Sunday school, I don’t want to be guilted into going to “church”again, even Satanic church.
By the time I left, they seemed to be more about fundraising and selling merch, but I slowly started drifting into witchcraft. I started with Tarot cards and it was all spawned by a sign I’d seen of a Hawk grabbing a crow off the street right in front of me. Maybe it was nothing, but I was going through a dark mental health crisis, but I feel like it was an omen or sign of sorts.
That put me on the journey into witchcraft and paganism and its been a very magical and exciting journey since then. Watching this show, It’s a great show, and Judaism has a lot of amazing practices, but I could never be a part of an organized religion ever again. I don’t do hierarchy and don’t ever want someone telling me how to live my life or practice my beliefs ever again.
Even in witchcraft, I’ve looked into covens and groups and joined various online orders, but those all end in drama and chaos. My view is witchcraft and any kind of faith practice can be beautiful, but for me its just not a team sport.
Anyway, it’s a cool show and I highly recommend it. I don’t have much to add after that. I know some of my blog get pretty deep. This one is about a missing cat and a Netflix show, but I tend to just write whatever is in my head at the moment. Thank you for sticking with my this far.
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