I moved my website yet again. This time back to wordpress from Substack. I’m using WordPress.com because its just less headache than self hosting on wordpress is. Substack was fun and I gained a lot of subscribers in a short time, but its just so bland.
I guess part of the artist in me likes to make things my own, make them weird and unique and make them stand out. On Substack every blog pretty much looks the same. There is some customization you can do to it, but it’s very limited and basic.
One thing that Substack has bothered me with lately and I tried to overlook it as I moved there was they are courting a LOT of legacy and major media players to the platform. It’s hard for small potatoes like me to get paying subscribers when big media names and celebrities start saturating the space.
Here, I monetized it with non-intrusive ads and a subscription plan. People can pay to subscribe and get the ad free newsletter, or just read it on the site with ads for free. Either is encouraged and both support me in different ways.
I’m kind of kicking myself for switching again. I don’t know why I’m always changing my website around every few months. It seems once I think I settle on something I want to move it again. Maybe its my mania and maybe I really just don’t know what I’m doing.
The thing is, its ok to not know what you are doing. I can say most things I ever tried in my life, I had no fucking idea what I was doing or how to even start. I know some say fake it til you make it. I can’t even do that well. People around me usually know I’m lost. I guess I have one of those faces. Though if I’m honest, I often look lost and bewildered when I do know what I’m doing.
So many artists and creators beat themselves up because they think they have to be a master at all the different things before they can even try, but the truth is, learning as you go is fine. Sometimes preferred. And let’s face it, waiting to start that blog, or art store or whatever until you have all the other tertiary things mastered is just a form of procrastination.
There will always be some new skill that pops up or new task to be completed before you can launch and you’ll be like “Hmm, yeah gonna have to keep putting it off!”
Sometimes you just have to say good enough and let it rip. You’ll learn what you need to know as you go. Most of the time, at least for me when you do these things; you don’t know what you don’t know. You get started and think all your bases are covered only to learn some whole new thing you didn’t even know existed that you have to now figure out or even be good at.
Regardless, its better than having a real job and I guess we have to keep telling ourselves that is why we do this. No matter how hard it gets, its not like having some boss hovering over your shoulder or dealing with the public who think they own you because they spent money at that store.
At this point in my life, I don’t even think I could function at a real job. If anyone even hired an overweight 52 year old who is awkward in person with a bad hip, I’d likely be fired the same day because I can’t take people’ bullshit, bosses or otherwise.
I gather many people reading this are in the same boat. So we write, or paint or create hoping to take care of our families this way, even though it seems to be getting harder. We’re all just trying. Which brings me back to the point of this blog. Don’t beat yourself up if your store front isnt’ perfect, or your table at shows looks minimal or whatever. We’re all doing our best, and anyone who expects corporate polish from an indie creator isn’t someone I want to deal with anyway.
Sure, we can use AI to make things perfect and pristine, but for me personally, the imperfection is the perfection. That’s how people know its real, because its messy or there is a typo or its just off in some way. Maybe its my manic brain or maybe I’m just a slob or both. I just prefer art and things that are a little messy and weird.
I guess that is my takeaway here. Embrace your chaos. Don’t push back against it, no matter how much the person tries to clean it up and polish it, let it stay a little chaotic. In the world of AI and influencers and staged managed politicians, sometimes letting the madness be free is just what the doctor order. Sometimes a little chaos is all we need.
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