I’ve been able to stay pretty healthy most of my life, especially here in my fifties, so I’m thankful for that. Recently, a family member has been dealing with cancer and she is elderly. So my wife and I have been her main caregivers. We take her to her treatments and therapies and everything, and most of the time it goes pretty smoothly.
Today was a day at the imaging center, which I’m pretty sure is one of the circles of hell.
First thing, they told her to drink a lot of water before the appointment, which she did. Then when we arrived, they told her to drink more big bottles of water, and they weren’t very nice about it. This was after not giving us any actual directions to the place, so we had to walk all around the building until we found it.
One thing that has shocked me throughout taking care of her has been the lack of wheelchair accessibility in various medical places. Especially in waiting rooms.
This place is cramped. It has hardwood floors and plaster walls, so the sound just bounces around. People are talking on their phones on speakerphone. Then one guy shows up and talks super loud, acting like the entire waiting room is his personal social circle. I always thought there was an unwritten social code to not be too talkative in a medical office, because you don’t know what others are dealing with. Not for this guy, apparently.
I’m not trying to sound like an old grouch here. Maybe I am. But when I’m in public, especially at the doctor’s office, I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to make conversation. I don’t want some guy who is already loud in an already loud room echoing through the halls and dragging chairs around.
He even came over and tried to insist we wheel her across the room to sit somewhere else because her wheelchair was near a door. We told him to just leave us alone.
Maybe that was shitty, but my God. Who shows up to a medical appointment wanting to chat everyone up?
I already have social anxiety. I don’t want to interact with some stranger and pretend to be all happy, especially when this appointment may run into our family member’s treatment time.
I’m still hung up on the wheelchair access. We had to park her in the middle of the waiting room essentially because they didn’t have any spaces open for a wheelchair or walker. You’d think medical places would account for this, but most of the ones we go to do not.
I never realized how inaccessible so many places are until I started being a family caregiver. When you mention it, a lot of places just do not give a shit.
They finally called her back, and then they called the loudmouth back, so it settled down in here some. I usually bring my headphones and have them in my bag. Maybe I should have utilized them, but I’m sitting here writing this blog as we speak.
This whole thing goes to a bigger issue of how dehumanizing our healthcare system is.
Now mind you, many of the workers we encounter are great and caring people. But there is an element at some of these appointments where this place is a job, and that’s all it is. While we’re dealing with cancer and sickness, they just want to do their shit and go home. We are in the way of that, and sometimes they will make it known that we are an inconvenience.
That’s not even touching on dealing with insurance and all of its hassles.
I guess if anything, it gives me blog material.
Caregiving gets me out of the house at least, and I’m usually pretty easygoing around people. But sometimes certain folks just get my hackles up and I struggle to cope. It is what it is.
Now that loud guy just came out, and he’s still talking to everyone in the waiting room.
I’m keeping my head down in my laptop, hoping he doesn’t notice me or try to engage again. It’s times like this I wish I were a turtle and could hide my head.
Maybe I’ll just play dead like a possum.
Back to dehumanization, I don’t know the answer. Universal healthcare would be a start. At least if you are being herded around like a nuisance, shit would be free. Here, she’s paying thousands for cancer treatment and they still act like assholes.
A tiny bit of bedside manner and some urgency, as cancer can grow fast, shouldn’t be a tall order.
I’m worried this post sounds too much like me ranting and bitching. Maybe it is. But I think a lot of you have experienced something similar with healthcare here in the United States.
A little bit of dignity and some courtesy and maybe a waiting room that doesn’t feel like purgatory with a place to park a wheelchair wouldn’t be too much to ask.
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